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All posts for the month April, 2012

Will Blyton and The Stinking Shadow being read by The Thunderous Mother.

Published April 25, 2012 by loonyliterature

See The Thunderous Mother reading a short passage from ‘Will Blyton and The Stinking Shadow.’

WARNING!!  THIS TAKES PLACE  IN THE LOONY LITERATURE LABORATORY.  WATCH AT YOUR COST!!

Strange things happen when in The Laboratory, so we can not be held responsible if you become as potty as us.

Get Your Revenge! Want To Blow Off Steam? Get Your Good Quality Insults Here!

Published April 17, 2012 by loonyliterature

 Will Blyton has had enough of The Stinking Shadow and tried to lock him in a trunk. 

It didn’t work.  The Stinking Shadow whiffs for Olde England and the stench broke the lock.

Will Blyton is always on the wrong end of Hamnet’s, the tiny boy trapped in a stone, insults.  Always being one for an opportunity, Will has decided to use  some on  The Stinking Shadow.  Who would you use them on? 

Thou wilt regret this warty nose.

Leave me be, thou fetid skanky breath.

Thou art but a worm eating corpse.

Mule’s manure, that is what thou art.

Thou bent nosed fool.

Thou springy haired oik.

Get off thy knees thou feeble minded dog.

It wilt happen later, old septic earache.

Thou leaking guts.

Thou mangy rat’s bum.

 

RAT is Formed!

Published April 3, 2012 by loonyliterature

An exclusive interview

By

Ambrose Pimple.

Groaningsea Gazette Editor, Reporter and Coffee Boy.

          Sales of the Groaningsea Gazette have almost doubled since Groaningsea’s premier crime correspondent, Ambrose Pimple, uncovered the  mob in our mist!  Residents were so shocked at the threat to their beloved seaside town that they have joined forces against crime with the Groaningsea Gazette.  The local people have banded together to form RAT – residents against terror.  The chairlady is Mrs Croak.  In an exclusive interview by Ambrose Pimple, Mrs Croak warns criminals:

          “The residents of Groaningsea are respectable folks.  We will not put up with the underworld trying to spoil our beautiful town.  My teenage son, Elvis, known to his mates as The Toad, will be on watch during the early evening.  Anyone caught doing anything, anything whatsoever, will be done.  Us Croaks don’t take to criminals, especially ones as we don’t know.”

          Further action has been taken by the local librarians who also represent R.A.T.  They are closeting their  umbrellas under the returns desk.  Anyone stepping out of line will feel the force of Mrs Chalk’s umbrella, be stamped on the forehead and get a fine.

          We want local residents to rest assured that they can count upon the Groaningsea Gazette to join forces with R.A.T. in the fight against crime.  Top crime correspondent, Ambrose Pimple will be available anytime and anywhere – that is Monday –Friday (9a.m. to 5p.m. within the Groaningsea area.

 

Anyone with any information or in danger please ring:

 

Ambrose on Groaningsea 666.

 

Gangsters Go For Gobber!

Published April 3, 2012 by loonyliterature

by

Ambrose Pimple

Groaningsea Gazette  Editor, Reporter and Coffee Boy.

 

http://openclipart.org/clipart/people/magnifyi...

http://openclipart.org/clipart/people/magnifying_glass_01.svg License: PublicDomain Keywords: people Author: AbiClipart Title: Magnifying Glass (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Gobber’s Joke Shop has graced Groaningsea’s back streets since anyone can remember.  Gobber is Groaningsea and Groaningsea is Gobber.  We have to ask ourselves why is Groaningsea, and now Gobber, being targeted by the mob?   

To understand the intensity of this crime we must realise that it is not one single crime which Gobber has been victim of but a catalogue of them.  Regular readers will remember Ambrose Pimple, head crime consultant of the Groaningsea Gazette, dutifully reporting how Gobber suffered crime in the past.  For new readers of the Groaningsea Gazette, who we hope will become regular readers, let me explain. 

Being the principle joke shop owner of Groaningsea, well actually, he’s the only joke shop owner of Groaningsea, Gobber feels it is his duty to be a role model to his young customers.  As fresh air and exercise is the order of the day for a healthy mind and body, Gobber does a daily jaunt on the promenade.  Gobber’s celebrity status in this small town means that during the school holidays he is accompanied by his fans spurring him on. 

On the unfortunate day of the first crime, some hard nosed criminal attached a sign onto the back of Gobber’s anorak.  The sign read : 

Gobber smells.  Yell if, you agree. 

Consequently,  a shouting mob stampeded the promenade with Gobber in front believing his own personal charisma was causing the racket.  Not that Gobber doesn’t have personal charisma, you understand.  Top crime correspondent, Ambrose Pimple charged through the crowd, whipped his windcheater off, flung it over Gobber’s head and made for the Drowning Fish Café.  Peace soon ensued but there was more to follow.

The next attack on the unfortunate Gobber was the advertisement in the Groaningsea Gazette.  A ruthless criminal masqueraded as Gobber and placed an advert in this very newspaper.  We have to be dealing with the professional underworld, otherwise how would the fake advert have gotten past Doris the cleaning lady who sells advertising space on her day off?  The advert, which looked very impressive with our new style headings read GRAB FREE GOODIES AT GOBBERS.  Derek Frisk, the local St John’s Ambulance man resuscitated Gobber as his shelves emptied. 

A wooden "roller" type rolling pin

A wooden "roller" type rolling pin (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Gobber wishes to warn the underworld that he has now taken arms and his mother Mavis is hiding in the back of the shop with her rolling pin and length of elastic, ready for action.

 

 

Will Blyton – The Alternative Detective’s Video Diary 1.

Published April 3, 2012 by loonyliterature

Find out what The Stinking Shadow steals.

Watch the video and find out what happens when Will Blyton comes face to face with The Toad, Ferret and Snot.

Notice what The Stinking Shadow hides under the table.  I think there might be the beginning of a story there for you.

After watching the video, why not make up your own scene about bullying with some friends.

Act it out.  How does the person who is being bullied feel?

How do the bullies feel?  Think about why they do it.

If you have access to a camera, why not film yourselves.

Have a great Loony Literature time.

Will Blyton – The Alternative Detective’s Video Diary 4

Published April 2, 2012 by loonyliterature
Artwork by Charles Raymond Macauley for the 19...

Artwork by Charles Raymond Macauley for the 1904 edition of The strange case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson. Publisher: New York Scott-Thaw (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Watch the terrible Mr Hyde from the Boris Death room.  Why is he so shocked?

Will Blyton decides he needs publicity.  He will he approach Ambrose Pimple?

Why do you think Mr Hyde seems to be so friendly towards the other monsters from The Boris Death room?

What does he steal?

Based on your answers, why not write your own sketch about some ghoulish characters and perform it with friends?



Will Blyton – The Alternative Detective’s Video Diary 2

Published April 2, 2012 by loonyliterature

See the werewolf from the Boris Death room dancing.

Will Blyton and his friend Bongo creep up to Boris Death’s old house on a Sunday Morning.  Find out what they see.

Notice the hand hanging on the table when the werewolf is dancing.  Who does it belong to?

Why does the werewolf steal the body parts and the jar of eyeballs?

Perhaps you could use this video to make a ghoulish story for yourself. 

Werewolf, by Rodrigo Ferrarezi Português: Lobi...

Werewolf, by Rodrigo Ferrarezi Português: Lobisomem, por Rodrigo Ferrarezi (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

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